Coming Home Today!!!

In a matter of hours Joshua will enter into the next chapter of his life. I am currently writing this somewhere over Greenland, and Mr. joshua is fast asleep. I sit and watch him resting peacefully and I am almost dumbfounded that tonight I will finally tuck him in his own bed, in his own home, surrounded by his own family. It is hours away and all I can do is reflect on how God's hand has been all over this incredible journey.
This process has been filled with a lot of "hurry up and wait". We've rushed to meetings, court hearings, medical appointments, Embassy visits and visa interviews and when we asked "how long until we have an answer?" we have been told, "Just wait, we don't really know." So when I reflect on how quickly things actually have happened, and the obvious miracles that have taken place, I am humbled that God has chosen to show Himself mighty and have mercy on our family.
Many adoptive families have spent months in Uganda navigating the system. And truly when you stand back and look at it, SO much of it is luck of the draw. What lawyer you have, what Judge you have been assigned, what holidays are taking place, if people decide to show up for your scheduled appointment or not, and if they do show up...what kind of mood they are in. We knew that this was the nature of this beast and yet we knew Joshua would be WELL worth the potential of any amount of extended separation and frustration that we may encounter. But we also knew that our God is more powerful than any "adoption process", and that if He saw fit, we could be home in record time... and HE SAW FIT!
I believe (because His word says) that our Father "hears the prayers of the righteous". I know how many of you have prayed over our family over the last several weeks, even a group of incredible prayer warrior sisters spent a day fasting and praying over our Visa interview. (Boy-oh-boy did God provide a mighty miracle that day!!!) I am overwhelmed with gratitude at the outpouring of love, prayers and support that has covered our family. Thank you, my friends for being true family!
I believe with all my heart that God knew us and formed us in our mothers wombs. I also believe that Joshua was knit together in his mothers womb with a purpose. Whether or not Joshua was planned by his biological parents is a moot point... after all isn't that a moot point for all of us? We were intended, planned, loved and desired by the King of kings before we ever took our first breath. God knew that shortly after Joshua's 2nd birthday, we would come and get him from the orphanage, and bring him to his intended home, into his intended family, into his loving church family and welcoming community. Just as you all are blessing him by welcoming him with loving arms and prayers on your lips, I am convinced that in turn he will bless this world ten fold.
We are on our way home and I could not be more excited to proudly introduce the newest member of our family to his new world.  Thank you for following along on this journey with us, thank you for loving us , thank you for holding us up to the Father, thank you for loving our son before ever meeting him!  I love you all.  We are coming home!!!!!!

12 hours!

In 12 hours Joshua and I will be in our Visa interview.  That means that the Judge signed our documents on Monday as hoped!  Woo Hoo!!!  Our lawyer had to camp out at her office from 10 am to 2 pm, until she finally signed it.  As soon as we had it in our hot little hand, we raced over to the US Embassy to drop off all of our paperwork and ask for an appointment on Wed.  (adoption Visa interviews are only done on Mondays and Wednesdays). We were seen by a woman at 5 pm to submit our documents, and were told that it would be difficult to get an appointment this Wed.  We continued to chat, while I silently prayed that God would soften her heart.  By the end of our 10 minute visit, I had the first appointment on Wed... of this week!  Our God is so powerful!
So tomorrow at 2:00 pm (1 am, Medford time) Joshua and I will be in our Visa interview.  PLEASE keep us in your prayers.  While we waited to submit our docs for an appointment, we watched 3 other families come out of their Visa interviews... 2 of them crying! The interviewer is a tough cookie from what I understand, and has the authority to go over everything with a fine tooth comb.  This is a VERY good thing, as the safety and legitimacy of every adoption should be the priority, but that doesn't mean that I am not a bit nervous that every "I" was not dotted and every "T" crossed.
I am praying for peace, acceptance and a miracle!
My dear friend, Sandy, reminded me today that I need to enjoy this 1 on 1 time that I have with Joshua.  Once we get home, "alone time" with one of my children is infrequent and invaluable.  But my heart still yearns to be a complete family again! When they were here in Uganda and we were all together, time FLEW by... but now that they are on the other side of the globe and our family is disjointed, one day feels like 10.  But I will trust that God is in charge and that His timing is perfect! So, I will hope for the best and prepare my heart that God's definition of  "the best", may not be mine. 
Thank you for keeping us in your prayers!  If you want to pray for the interviewer by name, her name is Bridgett, and once we "pass" the interview, the woman actually issuing the visa is Freda. Freda said if we pass the interview on Wed, that the Visa would likely be ready on Friday... but we are hoping to fly out on Thursday night instead so we dont have to add another 4 hour leg to our flight.  So we are also Praying for that miracle as well!  He is able, He is mighty, He is good...always.  Even when we don't get what we want!  But that wont stop me from asking, care to join me?  I love you all and hope to see you soon!!!!
Heather 

  

Past due pictures!

Papa at the Market with a Sugar Cane Sword!

Nana & Joshua enjoying breakfast

Joshua putting his dishes away... in the cupboard...dirty! At least he's trying!

Getting some love from Daddy while on Safari!

Men on an African Safari! (can you tell what Simon thought of it?)

At a salt crater lake in West Uganda.

My AWESOME children!

Grandpa teaching Joshua how to shave.

High five! On our way to court!

Safely "house"

So the rest of my family arrived safely home in Medford on Friday night.  My adorable husband e-mailed me as soon as they got home and the first 2 lines of his message were this:
"My lovely bride, we are safely home!  Well, I should say we are house, because that is all this building is without you and Josh here."  
Boy, does he know how to make a girl pine for him!  The next day (yesterday) we were able to use "Skype" which is a free internet video conferencing type thing (for those who don't know).  I can see their faces and hear their voices and vice versa.  There is some delay and the image is a bit choppy but it was AMAZING to see and hear each other!  Joshua spent a good 1/2 an hour singing to his siblings on skype today while they were eating breakfast and we were getting ready for dinner.  What a blessing it is to live in a time where we have this technological capability!  It has made this confusing transition so much easier for Joshua. (and me!) I enjoyed breakfast with my family this evening and it was wonderful! It was like I was there. Life was just happening as it does on a busy Sunday morning in the Koehler house and I was there to enjoy every bit of it... except for the part when Russ said "Heather, can I make you an egg on toast and a cup of freshly brewed coffee?" Now that was just mean!  You have no idea how gross the eggs are here, and the instant coffee isn't quite cutting it! (and He knows it!) ;)  Fortunately, I have decided not to hold it against him, and I'll just remind him that I only have 1 toddler in my care, therefor I can take naps in the middle of the day, if I so choose (although I always find something else to do) Says the girl who is up past midnight writing this.
Tomorrow is Monday and we are praying and praying that the Judge signs our court documents.  She is supposed to be back in the office tomorrow to wrap up old business (after moving to a new district last week).  But there are SO MANY "supposed to's" that don't always pan out here.  But I will hold on to hope and pray that she comes in and signs our document.  It is the last piece of paper that is needed to go to the Embassy and get Joshua's Visa (but the visa interview couldn't be until Wed)  So, if everything goes well, we "should be" home on Friday evening. Please pray!
I took my parents to Watoto church today and it was AMAZING...again!  The music, the message, the atmosphere, was nothing short of spirit filled!  Gods presence was tangible!  I prayed with the woman next to me.  I prayed for some personal problems she is struggling with and she prayed over my disjointed family and the adoption process! Later my mom joined us and we prayed for our home church in Medford and the process of finding a new pastor who will be a vessel of God's grace and might!  I was honored to worship along side this sister in Christ!
I hope to have good news tomorrow of complete paperwork, and a Visa apointment on Wed.  I love you all!

99 sheep

Last night, was certainly one of the hardest nights of my life. I said goodbye to my husband, my 4 oldest children, and my in-laws for an indefinite amount of time. They will return home on Friday evening to the comfort & much anticipated familiarity of our home. I have been dreading that goodbye for months now, and it was harder than I anticipated. I tried too keep a confident face but the wobbles in my voice and the tears streaming down my face did not match the words of assurance that I was trying to convey. I could see in there eyes the fear, pain and confusion that they were feeling, but they too, were trying their hardest to comfort me with their manufactured strength. When I told them to be brave and strong, they'd say through their tears "We will mommy." I assured them Joshua and I would be home as soon as possible and that time would fly by, and they'd say "o.k. mommy." Russ and I shared agonizing glances that said "I don't want to do this. I miss you already. My heart is being torn in two!", but not a word was spoken. Our family unit is disjointed and not knowing when we will be reunited is so painful
When Jesus shared the parable of the lost sheep in Matt 18:12 He said "What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?" He later talks of the joy of finding that lost sheep and bringing it back into the fold... but I wish He would have touched on the inevitable pain that the sheppard must have felt when he had to walk away from the 99 that he loved just as much, in order to bring the one lost sheep home. As he walked away, I imagine that sheppard looking over his shoulder every few seconds as the distance between his flock and their guardian widened. I imagine the almost sickening feeling he must have felt in the pit of his stomach, from not knowing when he would return to them. I imagine he worried about them each step of the way. I imagine that every minute that passed felt like an eternity. I imagine he asked God "Why" a million different times and a million different ways.
But I will choose be thankful and take courage. Thankful that God has provided us with another wonderful son, no matter how he chooses to bring him to us. And take courage that He who has begun a good work will see it to completion. We will be home soon and our family will be complete. But until that day, please pray that The Great Comforter will be tangibly felt by each member of our family. Joshua at only 2 years old, instantly noticed that his family was gone when he woke this morning. (He was asleep last night when they left at 9:15 pm) This morning, he asked for each one by name with a question in his voice (Daddy? Nana? Papa? Uncle P.K.? Carmen? Faith? Hank? Simon? and each time I tried to explain that they went to a different house to get his room ready for him and that we would go to meet them soon. But I don't think he really gets it. He just keeps asking for them and is clearly not himself today. This house is too quiet! I dont like it. And neither does Joshua.
My parents arrived last night about 2 hours after the rest of my family headed to the airport. What a gift to be able to share this experience with so many members of my family!! Mom watched Joshua sleep and cried that she could hear him breathe and touch his body. Dad beamed with pride over another grandchild. Dad woke before Mom this morning and Joshy and I were already awake. Dad came down the stairs and I said "Joshua, look, this is 'Grandpa'". He smiled big and said "Gah-pah!" They played cars and read a book and Joshua showed off by singing his ABC's. Grandma came down a little later and gave him a new blue matchbox car and they were fast friends. But even though he is surrounded by people who absolutely adore him, the house is eerily quiet without his siblings. The absence of their noise is almost deafening.
If everything goes ridiculously perfectly, in theroy, we could leave Tuesday night and be home wednesday evening... but we are in Uganda, and things dont always "line up". One piece of paper that takes 30 seconds to sign, can take 3 weeks to obtain. Please pray that our God would show Himself mighty and that we would be able to leave next week. Thank you! I love all dearly! I'll update again soon.
Blessings, Heather

Watoto Villages, Are you Kidding Me?

Hello my friends!  I am so sorry for the delay in posting, I think the whole "African time" is getting to me (that is nobody here wears a watch or needs one).  So I exhausted and promise more info later, but here we go...

Picture #1:  This is Peter and he is the Watoto sponsor child of the Sagunsky's from our church of WPC.  When we met him, we had to pull him from his studies for finals for secondary school.  He is an excellent student and he will be entering university to study Law and will be a lawyer in 5 more years.  Incredible young man and incredible opportunity because of the Sagunsky's and the Watoto church!

Picture #2:  These are girls from the second Watoto visit to our church, WPC two years ago.  Remarkably they remembered our girls names without being told what they were!  They have their hair shaved because when they get back from choir tour it is too much for the girls to care for their own hair, so it gets shaved off.  Very sad for us to know that, but for them it is a welcome relief from all the time it takes to care for it.

Picture #3:  Williams family here you go!!!  Here are your boys from two years ago!  I have cool stories to tell you about them, but I wanted to give you a brief photo to remember them by and my eyes are crossed from exhaustion.  Very cool boys, and they remembered you!

Picture #4:  This is a photo of one of the girls from Watoto choir who stayed at our house almost four years ago!  It is funny, she didn't remember Heather by face, but remembered us when she saw our girls!  I think that is the first person I have met who didn't remember Heather after meeting her for the first time!!!  (This is Russ talking of course!)

Picture #5:  You have no idea of the insanity of driving children around in Uganda, but this gives you an idea.  Let me just say, no seat belts, no rules, no "one bottom to a seat" rule.  It was simply too many people, in too small a car, on too bumpy of a road, with no air conditioning, for more time than what would be expected.  It was a better ride than Disney land for the kids, and a nightmare for the parents!

Picture #6:    This is Henry, the Comerchero family's sponsor Watoto child!!!  He is an incredible young man, and what a gift it was to meet him in person.  He was delivered a package from the Comerchero family from us, and he sends his love and gratitude in return.

Picture #7:  This is the Bloomquist family's child from Watoto that they sponsor.  I can't tell you the surreal moment it is to meet a young man and shake his hand and know that you saw his picture on a photograph and watch a family (Bloomquists) agree to send money to sponsor him through his high school years!  Our God is much too big for my brain to rap around this!  He is a remarkable young man, and the criteria I always use when I meet a young man is "would I let him date my daughter?"  I can honestly say that almost all of the men coming through Watoto, including those that our church family sponsors, I would let date my daughter.  (Always easier to say now than when the time comes, so don't get your hopes up Carmen or Faith!)  Okay, more later, I am too tired.

R & H + 5

3 day Marathon!

We have a busy 3 days ahead of us, before the bulk of my family leaves and returns home on Thursday night, and my parents show up a few hours later to stay with me until our adoption  paperwork is wrapped up. 

Today we will spend the day with our friends from Watoto.  We will go to the village (about an hour outside of town) and give hugs, American candy and cards.  Our friends, who stayed with us when they were on choir tour in the states, are at two different villages on opposite sides of town, so this will be an all day (and long anticipated) adventure.   

Tomorrow we will all head to Jinja where we will see the source of the Nile and some of the beautiful waterfalls.  (We also hope to see some Lions and leopards too!)

And then Thursday, we will wrap up any last minute visits to the market and pack everyone’s carryon’s to head home.  We came with 17 fifty pound bags and will return with 1 small carry on per person.  You should have seen the back of Uncle P.K.’s truck when we showed up to the airport, it was almost overflowing!  We had so many bags, thanks to the generosity of so many people;

Thanks to the children of the 2009 Westminster Pres Vacation bible School who gave  much needed, toiletries, children’s shoes & underwear, school supplies, and  towels & sheets as a part of their mission that year.

Thanks to the multiple families who have given my children so many “hand-me-downs” over the years that we are able to pack our bags full of children’s clothing to leave for the children at Joshua’s Orphanage (and still have clothes at home!) The  Martins, VanWinkles, Scotts, , Winetrouts, Bloomquists, Jacksons, and I’m sure  more that I am forgetting (sorry)!

Thanks to the individuals who supported our family financially through purchasing my girls handmade “Mustard Seed” Jewelry! (That sure was an amazing and humbling miracle that God preformed through my children!  For those who don’t know, our children wanted to come with us to Uganda to welcome their new brother into the family, but we did not have the 8 thousand extra dollars it would take to purchase their plane tickets.  So our daughters said “We’ll raise the money selling earrings! You have always said God still woks miracles, even through kids, why wouldn’t this work?”  Never wanting to say the word “impossible” to our children we cautiously told them “All right, you can try, but don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t work out the way you hope.”  They made and sold over 300 pairs of earrings and God provided $8,500 through the generosity of His people!  Thank you & Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!)

And most importantly, thank you to the people who have prayed us through this journey!  We are convinced that without the prayers that have lifted our family up over the last year and a half, we would not be in the same blessed position we are in now. We are humbled and grateful beyond description!

Thank you to all of you who continue to lift us up in prayer!  If you are so moved, please continue to pray for safe travels for my family as they come and go from this place this week and for documents needed to complete the adoption to fall into place at record speed. (He still works miracles!)  

Pictures from Safari

Picture #1:  We had just returned from dinner after a day in the car traveling around the park and looking at animals when these two warthogs walked up.  We watched them from our porch for over an hour before they left to find other food.  They are great at mowing the lawn.  They walk on their front legs bent on their knee so they can almost crawl and eat grass and a decent pace.  We were all amazed they were this comfortable with us after seeing them on safari and having them run off as soon as we pulled up in the car.

Picture #2: This is a close-up of the warthog at our doorstep.  Literally the kids were just feet away from them.  Joshua ran after one to pet him and Uncle PK went out and grabbed him a foot away from the hog!  Thank God for Uncles!

Picture #3: This is a herd of elephants that we saw on the shore of Lake George in the evening getting cool.  We saw many elephants on safari and literally you would b driving on a game trail and an elephant would step out and start eating tree leaves!  This herd was rather large and just getting water in the afternoon heat before heading back out to the Savannah.  I have video of a couple of the teenage elephants having a pushing match with their tusks to prove who is boss.  How are we different from elephants again?

Picture #4:  This is a herd of Cape Buffalo getting cooled off in the water.  They are extremely dangerous animals who will charge you if you get close.  We were approximately 100 feet from this herd on a boat, so you can see the "stink eye" you can see we are getting from the lead men in the herd that put themselves at the head of danger from the crocodile for the sake of the herd.  Don't you love chivalry?

Picture #5:  The nile croc, need I say more.  This is the world's largest croc!  They grow to almost twenty feet long and can easily take down one of the Cape Buffalo or most any other animal that gets close to the shore of the Nile.  This one is close to the source of the Nile and is much smaller than it's relatives that grow larger down stream.  At the head of the Nile they eat mostly fish and grow bigger and stronger as they go down stream.  This croc is approximately 12 feet and is cooling himself by keeping his mouth open.  It is awesome to see only a few feet away.  It is better than a defibrillator!

Picture #6:  The hippo!  This animal is responsible for more human deaths in Africa than any other animal!  It is an amazing creature!  Every night the hippo leaves the water to go eat grass, and will travel 45 kilometers and then return to the water in the late morning/early evening to cool off from the heat.  If you are unfortunate enough to get in between the water and a hippo, or a baby hippo and a mother hippo, you are in trouble!  They can run faster than people can and the strength of their jaws is enough to snap a person in two!  They are incredibly humbly beasts, and a reminder that our God has a sense of humor!  How can an animal that funny looking, that fat and that weird, be so fast, agile and aggressive?  What an animal!

Picture #7:  This is obviously a picture of our five kids.  It is taken in one of the last sets of elephant tusks that were legally allowed to be taken from an elephant.  It is sad that the elephant was killed for these tusks, but terrific that people, though as sinful as we may be, can look past profits to see that is better to keep the elephant alive and save a future one from being killed for the sake of his tusks!  They make more money on tourism to see the live elephant, than from the hunters who come to kill them, or the black-market value for ivory from the tusk.  Praise God!!!

Picture #8:  This is a picture of the patriarch Baboon from a herd of the that we stumbled upon.  He was in the road blocking his extended family from danger as his lineage ate leaves in the tree and went on with life.  Incredibly intelligent animals and extremely fierce, you simply look into their eyes and know there is something more going on inside them.  I have plenty of video of their behavior which is intimidating and incredible at the same time if that makes sense.  I promise more when we get home, thank you for all your prayers and thoughts.

R & H + 5

Back to Kampala, Sorry for Delay

Okay so here is what happened... Uganda is having their elections for President next year and right now they have just finalized their final 8 candidates for election.  That finalization of their primaries sparked an impromptu meeting of all high courts to discuss potential fall-out and changes.  That made all court hearings on Tuesday (our scheduled day) get delayed until Wednesday.  To make the plot thicken our assigned judge is in her late sixties and has had a stroke in recent years that has left her with debilitating right side paralysis.  The way their system works is every four to six years a judge is rotated from each division in which they served within their court system.  Our judge has been serving in the "Family Court" division for almost twenty years because of her stroke and proximity to care!  If you ca believe this, after twenty years they have decided to re-assign her to another division of court starting November 1st.  What that means is that she was unwilling to see new cases within her court that would require her to conduct work beyond that Nov. 1st deadline.  Now to the God part... She initially refused to see our case and wanted us to be re-assigned to another judge which meant to us another two to three weeks, just for a court date (another 3 weeks of paperwork after that!).  Our lawyer, a christian man in his early forties with a son about Joshua's age, pleaded with the judge to hear and rule on our case without re-assignment.  His pleading work and not only did she hear and rule on our case on Wednesday, she gave her short ruling before 5 pm that day (usually takes 3-7 days) and will give us her long ruling (usually another 7-14 days) by Monday November 1st!!!  After the short ruling you are allowed to proceed with US Embassy paperwork for VISA (which we did Wed. afternoon) and begin requesting for a health physical (scheduled for Monday), passport pictures (done Wednesday) and ministry of gender letter (scheduled for next week).  All told God shortened this trip tremendously by re-assigning our judge and giving us Isaac as our attorney!  To celebrate we scheduled an impromptu safari to Queen Elizabeth National Park.  The downside was a 9 hour drive with 10 people in a mid 1980's caravan complete with crazy roads with pot-holes, 5 children and ants all over the seats (you do the math).  The park was amazing and we saw incredible amounts of cool animals that could kill and eat you if they wanted to just a few feet away from us (all on video for those interested).  There are too many stories to share of that adventure to spell them all out here (bats above doorway to room, beetles the size your hand, mongooses, chasing baboons, warthogs within two feet of our room).  We have most on video or pictures and can't wait to share them with you. 

Joshua has not missed a beat.  I mean this without exaggeration that this young man was made for our family.  He is gregarious, kind, out-going, fun loving, rolls with all the changes and is an endless source of smiles for all of us.  Blessed be the name of our Lord!!  More to share, but all is wonderful for a family of seven plus three in a hotel room in Kampala.

Today we went to church at Watoto.  I wish I had words to describe the spiritual experience we all had.  My chest was ready to explode from the Holy Spirit within.  All I could think of was when the Pharisees asked Jesus to quiet the crowd and He simply said, "If they were to be silenced, the stones would cry out."  Watoto church has 8 places of worship (churches) within the surrounding Uganda country.  Each church has two services on Saturday and five services on Sunday.  Each service has roughly one thousand people jammed into the building for worship.  That is 56,000 individual people each weekend.  It was nothing short of life changing.  They had a guest pastor from London who was incredible and inspiring.  We were all covered in sweat and tears from the service from all the dancing and singing and preaching.  The Holy Spirit is alive and well in Uganda!

Tomorrow we will take Joshua for his visa physical.  We are trying to secure a visit to the Watoto village for tomorrow afternoon and tour one of their facilities where they care for the orphans by sending them to school all the way through university.  At Watoto church today as we were worshipping we noticed that the woman who stayed at our house a couple of years ago, was one of the worship leaders on the stage singing.  We got to meet her again, coupled with hugs and tears and would you believe she remembered every one of our names and knew things about us and our church and home that I could not believe she could remember!  Our God is BIG!! and our planet is small.

We are trying to arrange a trip to the source of the Nile River and a trip to really cool waterfall!  More on this later.  I will post some pictures once I get them downloaded on the computer.  We can feel the presence of your prayers through the Holy Spirit, please do not relent until we get home!

quick update ;)

Hello from the other side of the world!  I apologize that I have not updated in several days… We need to get ready for church so I will do a more thorough update this afternoon. But here is a rundown of the happenings since the last update.

Went to court on Wed morning… went off without a hitch!

The Judge told us she’d get us the piece of paper that is needed to make any further progress, that afternoon! (an unbelievable turnaround!)

We went to the US Embassy to get the list of “to-do’s”

Got Joshua’s passport photos taken.

Came back to the hotel and met with a woman about the in-laws going on a 3 day safari

Decided we would regret if all we ever saw of Africa was the city, so at the last minute decided to take the kids and go on a safari in Queen Elizabeth’s National park with the entire family, and leave in a matter of hours!

Packed for 7 people for a 3 day trip in the middle of Africa.

Brought the computer so I could update when we got to the park.

Drove 8 ½ hours in an ant and roach infested non air-conditioned van with no seat belts, no A/C, and my children on laps!

Seriously questioned my sanity.

Got to the Lodge and unloaded the sticky troops & tried to log on to update ya’ll.

It dawned on me that we were in the middle of the Savannah and that internet access was really not an option.

Saw incredible African wildlife and landscape.

Drove 8 ½ hours back to the hotel, in the same character building vehicle.

Crashed in our beds like you can’t believe!

And here we are… now ready to go get my children ready for church.

I’ll fill in more later.

Love you all!!!!!!!!!!

I love you

I woke early this morning (4:00 am) to the sound of Joshua yelling “Jacoba” in his sleep.  Fortunately everyone else slept through it and all is quiet on the home front now.  But I lay there unable to go back to sleep wondering what he yelled out.  95% of the time he speaks  Lugandan, but he understands most English. (we just have to remember to speak slowly, because although he is used to English, it is with with a thick Ugandan accent).  Anyway I lay there wondering what did he just say, is he o.k.? What was happening in his little brain while he sleeps, how was his subconscious processing all that is happening to him? He seems to be doing remarkably well and adjusting with few bumps in the road. But he must have so many questions that he is unable to articulate. We are praying that God gives him a peace that surpasses all understanding during this transition.  

My first words to him at the orphanage were “I love you” and we have all repeated those words to him a million times a day.  I am not sure if he knows what we are saying but he is hearing it ALL THE TIME.  Last night while we were cooking dinner he popped his head in the kitchen and yelled “Mama!” and then as soon as I look over, he hid behind the door laughing in hysterics.  He wanted to play peek a boo and it was game on!  He’d peek around the corner yell “Mama!”, I’d gasp in surprise  and yell back with a big smile “I love you!”, hiding and hysterics to follow each time… that is until he peeked his head around the corner and yelled “Mama! I love you!”  My gasp of surprise was 110% genuine this time  as I got on my knees, grabbed him in my arms, and with tears in my eyes, I kissed his face and said “I love you too baby.”  Now, it was clear that I had abruptly put a stop to one of the most exciting games of all time and the look on his face said “are you done? Cuz I’d like to get back to the business of our game now.”   Although I know very well that he had no idea what he was saying to me, he said it nonetheless, “mama, I love you.” and it was amazing to hear!  That moment will forever be etched in my heart. 

Now about 20 min later he toddled back into the kitchen where Nana and I were cooking and touched the knobs on the stove.  I said “No touching Joshua. Owie!”   He laughed and did it again.  I firmly said it again “No Joshua!” and I pointed to the knob.   He laughed hesitantly and touched it again.  Much firmer I said “No touching Joshua. No No.” Then he looked at me with such determination in his eyes, as if to say “Bring it lady! I plan to win this battle” and reached out and touched it again. I wanted to stop and explain that he has 4 older siblings who have tried this and failed each time.  They all have wills of iron and yet mommy and daddy’s wills are always stronger.  I wanted to say “Sweet boy, you can attempt to overpower and bully your parents but you will never win.  Therefore, life would be significantly easier if we could just establish right now that we are in charge and avoid any future battles.”  But unfortunately he is 2 years old and too much would be lost in translation anyway.  So I attempted the next best solution.  I grabbed his hand that was touching the stove and squeezed it.  I looked him in the eye, not 3 inches from his face, and again firmly said “No.”   What happened next reminded me of those little handheld toys that I got as a child. You know the ones where you push the button under the standing animal and the whole thing collapses at every joint. And as soon as you release the button the animal springs back into its original form.  Remember those?  Well, that was my son, a pile of collapsed limbs on the floor, like a mess of Jello, wailing at the top of his lungs.  I thought “Well, looks like the honeymoon is over.  Here we go!”  (note: we allow our children to be sad and disappointed when they are punished, who wouldn’t be?  But they are not allowed to throw tantrums and collapse in the middle of the room to scream at the injustice if life.)  All I could see was a little mini Nelly Olson on the floor (minus the blond ringlets) and I said “Not my child”. So I scooped him up and put him on a chair in the other room and walked away.  More wailing followed, which again, is illegal in our house because the intent is to punish others by making them uncomfortable by your screams.   I gave him a minute to try and control himself, but as the screams got louder I went back in and said “Enough.”  He instantly stopped crying and I squatted down with open arms.  He hesitantly came to me and I kissed him on the cheek and said “I love you Joshua, no touching the stove.” He looked at me with a huge grin and hugged my neck.  We were friends again and it was a fairly quick lesson on “who’s the boss”.  A few minutes later he came back into the kitchen and pointed at the knobs on the stove and said “No.”  I smiled and said “Good boy, no touching.” He smiled with pride and the he was off to play with his siblings.   Oh, if only it could be this easy 14 years from now! 

              

Take 2

Well, we are in Africa.  We were told before we leftto expect delays and just embrace the laid back culture.  We went to court today for our scheduled appointment at 10 and were told we need to come back tomorrow. No one seemed to blink an eye or have any concern so we will follow suit. We are going to head to the market this afternoon and experience that side of this beautiful culture! 

more precious faces

We are off to court this morning but I wanted to share a few pictures before we head off.  Love you all!!!

Pictures of our first meeting

The top picture is the first time Heather held Joshua, words cannot describe what a picture shows.  The second picture is a car that I (Russ) brought for him because I was told he liked cars.  His smile confirmed it.  The third picture is about 3 minutes after Heather first held Joshua and another little boy named Mitshuna (sp?) asked me if I would hold him (extremely outoing and gregarious, an amaizing little boy, I wanted to take them all home).  The 4th picture is of Joshua doing his school dance.  Everyday at school they sing a little song welcoming everyone to school and during that song Joshua created this little dance and then everyone else does it.  The dance will live on with his legacy at Open Door Orphanage.  The fifth picture is of Joshua playing with his car on my leg.  Joshua is extremely intelligent (they nicknamed him the professor), he is pensive, organized and often very serious.  When he is uncomfortable he bottles up and has a very concerned look on his face.  On the flip side he is the life of the party, extremely extroverted and comic relief when he is comfortable with you.  This picture of him running the car on my leg is after about fifteen minutes of him taking a more "serious" approach to my presence and I got him to feel comfortable and play with me.  The 5th picture is of our family the first day together, about 4 hours after first meeting and on our way to dinner.  I wish I had words to describe the experience.  The only common words I know to share is that we have a big God, and our hearts were sewn together even before we each entered to world.  The Koehler family is finally complete!  More pictures coming later, and I am sure that Heather will be back on soon for more updates. 

Will the real Joshua please stand?

Continued from yesterdays post...
When we arrived at the hotel, Simon and Hank were playing with cars on the floor we opened the door and they ran over and without skipping a beat the said "Hi Joshua, you are home now!, do you want to play cars with us?"  I reminded them that this was all strange and new for him and we needed to take it easy and let him get used to things for a while. (little did I know what lie ahead... or is it lay ahead?...Dad? anyway…) Nana and Papa were there and greeted him with respect and love. He was still totally overwhelmed and stressed. (I think I still have nail marks where he was grabbing me so tight) And then we asked where the girls were so they could meet him too.  They were in the pool swimming with uncle P.K. so we all headed down.  They ran over and greeted their baby brother and asked to hold him. Again with the reminding that this is all new and scary for Joshy.  Russ walked them through what it would feel like if they were taken from our home by strange people they had never met before and even if they were expecting it, they would still not be ready to jump in and play with their new siblings right away.  They understood, but were not more than 2 1/2 inches from some part of his body for the next several hours.  We went up and got changed and realized it was way past lunch and we were all ready to eat. I wondered if Joshua would be able to eat while on this emotional rollercoaster, but we needed to eat & had no food in the room yet so we ventured over to the food court at the mall next door.  We all ordered from different places and offered a pot luck to Joshua.  THAT BOY ATE LIKE A MAN!  Whether he needed a spike in blood sugar or assurance that we were now the ones to feed him, his entire demeanor changed!  He smiled and laughed a bit and then we walked home. And then the real Joshua showed up!  He came into his own.  he sang songs for us, danced, played cars with the boys, let the girls tickled him, he winked (simultaneously with both eyes) but none the less flirting with all of us in the room, snacked on fishy crackers, backwashed into his very own water bottle, he was Happy to be in this place at this time!!! But secretly I was worried it was temporary (and it still might be) so I am cherishing every second of happiness we get during this transition.  He fell asleep on the bed watching the kids get in their p'j's.  I slipped him into his own pair, placed him in his little bed (the loveseat turned against the wall) and finally, for the first time, we kissed our child goodnight and prayed over his sweet little body!  How could I not be a mess?   

This morning I was up at 3 am, Carmen and Hank by 3:30 and Faith and Dad by 4! We all went down stairs and watched a movie and waited for our baby to wake up.  The anticipation was palpable!  Simon came down at 5:30 and asked "Why do I have to go to sleep and they get to watch a movie?" I explained it was morning, but the sun wasn’t up yet, and that he was welcome to join his siblings on the couch until Joshy woke up.  from 5:30 to 6:45 there was a "runner" every 6-7 minutes to peek and see if Joshua was awake yet.  By 6:45 he was the one peeking over the couch at the girls... but to my dismay he had "that look".  Concerned, worried, confussed.  I held him and reassured him and wondered if food would do the trick again.  He tentatively ate a few scrambled eggs and little pineapple, and then played much more quietly on the floor with daddy while I made the first blog post... and then we needed to get ready for church.  When the Agency staff came to pick us up, he went further into his shell.  He snuggled me through church with that same intense grip... that is until Simon vomited all over the pew! (life would be so boring without kids!) Russ and I spent the rest of the service outside with our sick Simon and worried Joshua. Nana, papa and Uncle P.K. sat with the other kids through the long service like pros! We met up after and Russ, p.k., hank and simon went back to the hotel. Carmen, Faith, Nana and papa wanted to see Joshua’s orphanage so we went with them and the staff to go visit.  Joshua stayed in his shell until we arrived at the Orphanage.   But then he saw familiar sites and he instantly knew where he was.  He was obviously so happy to be back.  As we walked towards the building, he started yelling all of the names of the children who were yelling back at him "Professor, professor!" (his nickname at the orphanage)   It was like this boy was an A list celebrity... and he was flaunting his stuff like you couldn’t believe!  Showing off his Spiderman sandals with beaming pride (most of the children do not have shoes and they were all totally enamored.)  You would have thought he pulled up in a cherry red Ferrari! He chatted with everyone like a smooth politician and loved on all the house nannies.  I just knew that he must be thinking “I had had a great time on my 24 hour vacation and I am so happy with my parting gifts, but I sure am glad to be home now!”  The staff was bringing out lunch, so he went to his old room.  I asked what he was doing (as all the older children were giggling because they knew what he was doing and that he did not live there anymore.) The staff said it is a rule that you never eat in the nice "outing clothes", so he was just following protocol. He came out in his new tattered duds, he sat in his usual spot and was handed a plate of beans and rice and boiled potato with theother children. 
Now, I had seen this boy eat like a sumo wrestler, and I knew he had not had a big breakfast, I knew he was hungry and I knew he was comfortable now that he was back on his home turf, it was time to get his grub on! But he sat there and looked around the room with the potato in his hand not taking one bite of anything.  After a few minutes, the agency staff asked him if he was o.k. he shook his head no.  She said “do you want to leave and go home with mama?”  He shook his head yes.  She said " go wash your hands then."  He bolted out of his seat washed his hands in the basin and was back dressed in his "outing clothes" in 2.2 seconds! His arms were reaching for me to pick him up and she said "He is ready to go now, let us leave." He fell asleep in my arms on the way home... not from lack of sleep, i dont think, but more likely from the sheer exhaustion of this rollercoaster!  back at the hotel, the rest of the day was filled with happy giggles, hide and seek, more food, more tickles, more love.  The real Joshua was back, safe at home with his family! I just had the honor of tucking in all 5 of my children for the second night in a row!  I am humbled at the gifts our Father chooses to give me! It was a good day!  (Simon felt MUCH better by the afternoon and has kept everything down Ahhhhh Africa!)

We're not in Kansas anymore Toto!

We made it! I am SOO sorry for the delay in communication. The internet has been spotty to say the least and the (weebly) blog we set up before we left is banned in Uganda. My fantastic brother in law, Todd, saved the day by figuring out that this blog site would work here.

o.k. so here is the scoop... we got in late friday night, and when we arrived at the hotel with seventeen 50lb. bags of luggage (filled with supplies and clothes for the orphanage, it was quite a site to see!) we checked in and I was handed a message from the front desk.  It said to call the local agency we are working with as soon as we arrive URGENT!  So we got to the room and I called. She said they pulled some strings and the orphanage decided to bend the hard and fast "NO VISITORS ON THE WEEKEND" policy, and we could go see Joshua in the morning!! Mind you, we were working on almost no sleep over the last 48 hours... and I am shaking from exhaustion. I know i  need sleep, but my baby is hours away!  Try as I may, no sleep, night 3!  but God is good, and I just dont seem to need sleep right now! (says the lady who feels like a monster without 7-8 hours of sleep a night!)

So the next morning (Saturday...yesterday!) we meet the staff at our hotel so they could brief us on what to expect over the next month, and then we were off to meet our son!  Just Russ and I went and the 4 older kids stayed back at the hotel with Nana, Papa and uncle P.K.   They said "if he bonds well with you you can take him home today".  We were originally told we would not be allowed to meet him until Monday and now we were on our way after only being in country for a few hours!  God is so Good!!! We pulled up to a gate with the name of his orphanage next to it, and were let in by a man guarding the gate.  we drove down a short dirt road that resembled a creek bed more than a road, and parked.  The children were all peeking at us through the bushes as the adults approached us.  We greeted all of the adults and made appropriate small talk and all the time I'm thinking "Any other day, I'd love to chat but...WHERE IS MY BABY?!" we walked down the "creek bed" and entered another small gate into a "play yard" (if you could call a small dirt patio with no toys a "play yard").  I instantly saw Joshua near the back being held by a nanny, looking at us with concern as she reassured him.  There were children everywhere one little boy ran up to Russ and said "Daddy!" Russ scooped him up and held him while the nanny handed Joshua to me. I tried not to bawl uncontrollably, but tears started flowing and I kissed him a million times and whispered "I love you Joshua, mommy is here. I love you, I love you, I love you."  after a few min, I swapped babies with Russ so he could meet his son.  Joshua pensively looked back and forth between the huge man holding him and  his nanny.  And then Russ busted out a green match box car and handed it to his son.  Side note: every picture we were given from Holt over the last year and a half, was of Joshua, with that look of concern... never a smile.  But then we saw what we had been longing to see, Joshua's smile!  And then that beautiful smile then turned into the most infectious giggle a parent has ever heard!  He had a toy and that toy was his very own, and his daddy gave it to him! They were best buddies!  we stayed for a couple of hours and took pictures and saw his old room. They then told us it was time to go and Joshua needed to come with us or he would be mad.  I asked what they meant and they said that Joshua thought the last 2 Holt families who came to get their children, were his parents and he was mad when they left without him. They assured him that his parents were coming and that once they did, they would never leave him. But he was still gun-shy.  Lunch was being served to the other children and they said it was time to go. They all said goodbye to Joshua and we walked out the gate.  He stared to cry, and I started to bawl.  All I could think is this is this is his home! These people were his family and we were ripping him away from them.  The staff asked him why he was crying (in Lugandan) he answered and they told me "He wants to eat lunch too, and he is mad that everyone else is eating, and he is not"  I dont know if they were saying that to comfort me, I will never really know what he said.  But my heart tells me he was scared to death and didnt want to leave the comfort of his home.  They reassured him and he stopped crying but held on to me like velcro.  the 30 min drive back to our hotel was really hard on all of our hearts.  While we were rejoicing in the gift of being united with our long lost son, we were greaving the loss that our child was undoubtedly experiencing.  We could do nothing but pray over him and ask Gods peace to shower him.  I will write more later... and upload pictures if i can figure it out...it is time to go to Watoto church now!  I love you all!!  (the story gets happier, i promise!)